It was raining this morning. I was feeling absolutely grumpy as I wanted to catch the bus at 6.50 am, but it didnt arrive till 7.30 am, and I was caught at the bus stand in the midst of the rain. By the time I arrived at the centre, it was already 8.30 am.
I was annoyed not so much that I arrived at 8.30, but because I had a tutorial for one of the other courses that I had to attend on Thursdays at 5pm, and I thought I was going to have to skip it today.
I was mulling over it the entire morning, thinking of what to say to the mentor, if she could allow me to get off early so that I could catch the bus and get to the university in time. My attendance for this tutorial was also taken down, so it was important that I didnt miss any of the tutorials.
Finally, one of the other university students told me that I could negotiate the hours with the mentor, and I could replace the hours should I had not done them. Which is what I finally did.
I told the mentor that I did not want her to think that I was slacking off, or that I did not want to help out in the classroom, if that was what she thought. The mentor was supportive enough that she allowed me to get off at the same time I did last week, and she discouraged me from skipping my tutorial. She was wondering why I had a tutorial on a Thursday, when the other students didnt, and I told her that they were all Year 1 students, whereas I was not, and was taking a combination of differe nt intake courses as a result.
Anyway, the other thing was that, I felt that the spirits of the individuals in the classroom (children, classroom assistant) was rather low this morning. I also saw the classroom assistant crying (which I could immediately discern it to be a personal issue), and I tried to cheer up, so that I would not be feeling as low as she was. Having one staff feeling low is bad enough, without the need for two other adults to be feeling just as low as well.
I was praying hard this morning after coming into the classroom, as I really did not want my emotions and worries to affect my performance at the workplace, and that the entire atmosphere would lighten up. Which, fortunately it somehow did.
I know its not appropriate for a staff to bring personal issues to the workplace, but I would state that it is difficult for a human to always be able to divorce their emotional state from their work place state. Somehow, being at the workplace with all the children around helps me not to ponder so much on the issues I have at home, because I have to focus on the children instead and the r esponsibility I have towards them.
I really prepared very much for the first day of professional experience, but this week, I was not as emotionally prepared, although I had my paperwork typed out and printed to show to our university liaison, Megan , who had come in to examine all the university students work.
I know that, as I have been having issues trying to focus my studies in the past couple of wee ks, and my emotional state has not been at it most positive. Apart from the depression I was going through, I now have other emotional issues that I have to handle, and I am really trying my very best to overcome it.
The girl who cried last week when her nappy was changed (she only comes on Thursdays), did not cry this week. I remembered most of the names of the children, but there were quite a number of them whose names I did not remember.
The mentor was very supportive today, as she gave me some verbal guidance as I read to the children, and sang the transition song to them before their lunch time.